one of the most profound questions I’ve heard of. to be honest, i don’t blame the men considering that I have no idea what I want sometimes.
But i figured this would be a good opportunity to express how I feel as a woman and hopefully give some light to our poor men out there. (who are racking their brains for too long leading to —— ‘i think she’s just nuts’)
we’re not. thankfully. we’re just not wired to tell you everything on surface value. but because of our ability to sugar coat, read between the lines and understand how you feel, we are created to be the perfect ‘partner’.
we understand what you need. hence you get the ‘how does she knows what i want?’ and I’m pretty sure you felt darn impressed by your woman’s ability. we’re not psychic, mind you. but we have something called the ‘intuition’. it grows as we get older making us either ‘very sensitive’ or ‘very paranoid’. you decide what’s worst.
but today.. yes, TODAY! i’m going to help or at least try to translate female language to human language. hopefully, KM reads this and heaves a sign of relief.
this is one very touchy point for most women. hence, when confession comes in church, the pastor would usually ask us to repent from this.
the free dictionary defines it as ‘marked by resentment or cynicism’. we are not trained to throw our thoughts out verbally. i mean that. when bad things happen or annoying things that the other half does, or really irritating stuff at work, i’ll brush it off by saying ‘sigh. nvm then’.
my mind tells me that. but my heart says no. it remembers. i recall the hurt, i recall the pain.
what i get from men is ‘i don’t understand how she can just blow up and bring back something from the past. it didn’t seemed to matter then.’
what it actually meant to us women is: ‘it did. but its trivial and i don’t want to sound petty.’
next time, your woman tells you ‘nvm’. dig. dig and dig further and let her speak. of course, there needs to be a balance of some sort. but yea. rule of thumb is encourage her to address the issue at the end of the day. between both of you.
we are made to partner our other halves. we are. i totally agree. the man has a bigger role to play to ensure that both parties are taken care of.
we will wash, cook, clean to make sure that you’re well taken care off. but we need to be spoilt too. as much as we plan to go to you, we want you to plan to come to us. What does that even mean?!?!???
– if we cook for you, bring us out for a dinner date sometimes. monthly or bimonthly would be good enough. put in the effort to dress up, romance us again. (when romance stops, women will feel like their value have dropped, taken for granted or things just got too comfortable) nv ever stop romancing your other half. schedule it if you have to.
– if we wash for you, bring us out to shop! well, to pay or not to pay (this agreement has to be decided between both parties).
– if we clean for you, clean for us too… i know you must be thinking ‘What the heck?’. yes. once in a while, offer to do her dishes. (KM is super good at this. that i must brag. my bf would clean up for me when I’m over his place. it always made me feel good. hence, he gets all my attention when he’s over mine. I tryyyy… to bring him food and wash up for him too..)
– if we respect you, respect us too. don’t let us catch you ogling at another girl’s short skirt or long hair or fair skin for that matter. you won’t want us to count another guy’s six packs in the gym would you?
that said, side note to my ladies.. the one thing I’ve learnt about dating is, never fight or even argue with your other half in front of your friends or his. above all, never put him down in front of them too.
every time i do that i know i broke a code. something that will ruin a man’s pride. respect him, give him the attention, move close up to him. somehow, i know that men just love the idea of how women just look up to them half the time when they are talking about their career, dreams and aspirations.
men in general, loves to feel like their in power. they like to be in control. but what pastor joseph prince says this which i find quite true.
‘the man is the head. woman, the neck. ‘
my man would usually want me to make the decisions with him. big or small. sometimes, i might find it trivial but to him, he wants me to partner him. knows what he needs and what he wants.
women, you play the neck. subtle use of assertion is much better than just blowing up and demanding things your way. (which would usually translate to ‘she’s just acting crazy’)
well, thats all i have now. until next time…
one of my common scenarios: